a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
