she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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