whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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