After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize