creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
