clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
