No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
