Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I want to make a zoo with you.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
