I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
