Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
