I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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