Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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