it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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