there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
