Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
