I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
