Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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