Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
