I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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