he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
