I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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