The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
