God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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