The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
