I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
