Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
