Sry I called you an 8
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
