but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
