Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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