What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
