Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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