i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize