The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
