sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize