Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
