I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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