good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
