I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
