Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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