The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Are my feet made of real feet?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
