Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
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