do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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