You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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