I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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