you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Rumble strips road head = magical
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
