Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
