I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
