morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
