You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
