Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
