There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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