Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
