I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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