True but thats because hes a fetus.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So squirting runs in the family.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
