so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
