I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize