You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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