shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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