What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize