There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
