i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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