Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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