her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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